Feelin’ a bit scattered now that the holidays are through for another year. They’ve been my sole focus for the past 6 or so weeks. Now they’re gone, and I’m in a major lull.
What to do?
What to focus on?
What to turn my attention toward?
So many, many things… I need my focus back.
But right now I’m also pre-occupied with something I can’t do anything about. A very dear friend of mine has brain cancer. He’s only around 45 years old. He’s so completely golden. A kind soul with not one single malicious atom in his being. And he’s gravely ill, and with the looks of the type of tumor they removed from his brain, he’s not likely to go another year. So many prayers going his way. But are there ever really enough? I can’t imagine the world without him in it. I’m crushed. I’ve known him almost as long as I’ve known my best friend – nearly 20 years. And in all those years I’ve never seen him without a smile. I’ve never known him to say anything negative. I’ve never known him to not like anyone.
Without a focus, my mind is being all consumed by thoughts of his sickness.
I need to find my passion for this first part of the year. The garden is still months away. There’s not a winter to speak of here this year to focus on skiing. Maybe I just need to sit down and focus on some goal for this year and pick one to get to work on.
Sending many prayers and healing vibes your way, Jay.
I love you and can’t imagine the world without your smiling face.
